Ever since the first time a boy told me that they loved me I have been having conversations about what love is. People’s opinions differ – sometimes drastically- on what exactly it is, and how you know someone truly does love you. Do they say it? Do they show it? Are their actions consistent? Are they willing to make it Facebook Official?
Remember the first time you saw “He’s Just Not That Into You”? You cringed, just like me, because at least one of those scenarios was familiar. You knew a guy who treated you, or one of your friends that way. You knew that some of those justifications had come out of your mouth, you knew that you had cried over men (or boys) who treated you like shit and dragged you down – you just hadn’t figured that out yet.
We have all had these conversations with each other – words are cheap. Show me, don’t tell me. But in a world full of full time jobs, social media, long distance relationships and unorthodox meetings how exactly do you spot love when it’s there.
My answer is this- you feel it. It sounds cheesy, and yes it is straightforward. But I believe it to be true. So many people think that “love” is only “real” when it works, when it lasts, and when you end up married (and that whole nine yards). I don’t find this to be the case. In my opinion love is one of big things that make life interesting and worthwhile, which adds to the journey that we are all on.
When you look back on relationships that has passed you by, and loves that have passed you by, there is always one moment that you can point to where you KNEW, deep down, and even if you denied it at the time, you knew that it wasn’t going to work. But that doesn’t mean that there wasn’t love, that there weren’t great moments, and that you can’t still smile about the times that you spent together.
Maybe one day it will work, it will last, and you will get married (and the rest of the nine yards). But you don’t have to, that doesn’t mean that the love is real either.
Allow yourself to feel it, to enjoy it, and to let it take its course – live in the moment.
*Originally Published on Thought Catalog*